Being the "Other"

For my "being the other" experience I decided to go to the Crabtree Building Projects Lab. It's a lab for mechanical engineers that provides equipment to help with any projects. My husband was building a trigger mechanism in the lab, so I came in to help him. I know he was a inside friend, but I thought the opportunity would be a good one since the engineering feilds are not well populated by women and I would still be an ousider even with him there. My guess is that there is a social hegemony going on there, despite "efforts" to encourage women to join the engineering majors. 

How did you feel about being the other? 
I was nervous. So nervous, I questioned everything I did. I was even unsure if I knew how to get there, which resulted in me getting lost in the building for a second. When I did finally make it to the lab, I was really reluctant to go in. I saw my husband and felt a bit better, but the feeling that everyone was staring at me still lingered. It was all in my head, but what's in your head can scare you too. 

How did you cope with otherness?
Looking back on the experience, I should have talked to the people working in there, but in the moment, I wanted to be invisible. I was so self-concious, I forgot to get any cultural artifacts. I was just taking everything in and trying not to be noticed. I was just relieved when it was over. Overall, I didn't cope as well as I could have. I don't cope well with new experiences, especially if I'm isolated. I get nervous and sick to my stomach. People say I need to get over that, and for somethings I will have to suck it up and do hard things so I can move forward in life, but I often wonder if the world just thinks introverts aren't happy in life and the only way to be successful is to be an extrovert.

What are the implications for the students in your classroom who are experiencing school as a "foreign place?" 
While in there, my husband taught me how to use one of the machines to cut a piece of metal. I realized that having someone there who I thought wouldn't judge me if I failed was critical to my success. I was willing to try because someone thought that I could do it and was willing to teach me. Asking for that kind of help from someone I didn't know would have been terrifying. I was too chicken to do it. For students in my class, I can't wait for them to ask me for help. I have to create the relationship that says "I will not judge you, just love you" and set up the classroom as a safe environment for people to ask questions and not feel bad is also key. I will probably have to go to them and personally ask how I can help them in the beginning, but once the relationship is founded, it will hopefully be easier for my students to ask me or their classmates for help. 

There were a few groups of people doing a project for a class. I noticed that among about 20 people, only two of us were female and one of them was me. It was what I expected. That's how the culture of engineering is portrayed. It seemed a shame to me, because metal working would be a cool skill to have. What is stopping me? Lots of sad excuses: like I'm too old to learn it, or I'd have to learn some kind of math that I wouldn't want to do. The real problem is that I don't feel like I belong in the culture, so I don't think I could learn. That's the real skill I want to have. I want to do things I want to do and ignore the fear of not fitting in the culture. That's the skill I need to teach my students. I have to ask them "What would you do if you thought you couldn't fail?" and encourage them to do those things. It would also help to make my classroom a sort of practice area where they can try new things without feeling like they are being judged.